


Double Jeopardy

by havvkeyes



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, minor sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-31 22:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10908891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havvkeyes/pseuds/havvkeyes
Summary: "His heart felt fuller than it ever had before: he could imagine loving this woman deeper than he had ever loved anything else in his life."





	Double Jeopardy

“Actually, double jeopardy wouldn’t apply in this case.”

The small voice caught Rafael off guard. His Criminal Law discussion had been uneventful, filled with the musings of students who thought they knew more than they actually did. Apparently, that included Rafael. 

“Damn,” he mumbled. He turned to offer a small smile to the girl who corrected him, but he hadn’t expected to be left speechless at the mere sight of her. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she was scribbling away in a notebook. Her long brown tresses fell well past her shoulders. Dark brown eyes stared down with a kind of ferocity at whatever it was she was writing. Rafael was lost in the hypnotic motion of the swirls of her hand as she moved pen across paper.  

The discussion continued for another hour. Rafael desperately tried to pay attention, but he was fighting a losing battle. Anxiously counting down the minutes, he tapped his right leg impatiently. Finally, when the professor excused the class, Rafael found himself sighing with relief.  In his excitement, he knocked his notebook off the table and sent it flying. In the shuffle of students leaving, he expected to be the last one left in the room as he struggled to regain some semblance of order. 

“Here,” the same voice from before grabbed his attention. She held his notebook in front of him. Rafael found himself staring at the notebook a beat longer than intended, seemingly forgetting to actually take it from her. 

“Sorry, sorry. Thank you,” he smiled at her and made eye contact for the first time. Her eyes were so dark that her pupils and irises seem to blend into one. It’s haunting. It’s beautiful. 

“Yeah, of course. You’re Rafael, right?” 

“That’s what they tell me,” he chuckled softly. He placed his notebook back into his bag and then slung it over his shoulder. “Forgive me, but what’s your name?”

“Emily _,”_ she replied. “I guess I’m easy to miss in discussion. It’s too easy to get lost in the sea of eager but ignorant voices.” There was a mischievous smirk painted across her lips and it dawned on him that that she’s making a thinly veiled jab at him. 

“By all means, you should call out people more often.”

* * *

It started off as study sessions over several cups of coffee. What originally began as preparing for Criminal Law exams slowly morphed into the two of them lying on the floor together. Books had been thrown across Rafael’s apartment in frustration. Rafael moved himself so he was propped up on his side. Emily lay on the cold tile floor, eyes closed. She almost looked like she could be sleeping. Rafael was mesmerized by the way her long her fell around her face and by the slight pout that was painted on her lips. 

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, eyes still closed. 

Rafael paused a moment before answering. “You,” he responded quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Lay with me.” Her voice was gentle. It’s not so much a demand as much as it was a wish voiced aloud. Rafael was all too happy to oblige. He slid back down against the tile, closer to Emily this time. They lay next to one another for a few moments in silence. 

Calmed by the presence of the woman next to him, Rafael found himself slipping closer to drowsiness. Emily laid her head against his shoulder, the sweet scent of her shampoo suddenly flooding his senses. Her arm moved slowly across him until she could hold him properly. Rafael wrapped his arms around her in turn, pulling her to him. 

“I guess now is as good as a time as any to tell you I’ve had a crush on you since the first day of class.” 

Rafael’s stomach filled with butterflies and his face warmed at her sudden confession. He traced swirls across the soft material of her sweater. 

“Since the day that we met, I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He muttered into her hair. At his words, Emily suddenly surged forward to plant a kiss on Rafael’s lips. 

His surprise quickly faded away into delight as his hands moved to perpetuate the kiss. He kept one hand planted firmly at the back of her head while the other cupped her cheek gently. His thumb rubbed across her cheek. The kiss could have lasted for all of eternity. Rafael found himself lost in the sweetness of her lips. 

When they finally broke apart, Rafael leaned his forehead against hers. Dark brown eyes met his. His heart felt fuller than it ever had before: he could imagine loving this woman deeper than he had ever loved anything else in his life. 

* * *

They loved each other deeply and purely for over a year. But their worst nightmare came true the week before graduation. Rafael had been offered a job in the District Attorney’s Office in Manhattan. Emily had accepted at a high profile law firm in Washington D.C. 

Emily was curled up in his lap, her body wracked with sobs. She had been like this for nearly twenty minutes. Rafael tried to whisper comforting thoughts to her about their careers and hopes, but they felt empty even to him. As he looked down at Emily, he felt his heart break all over again. It had nearly killed him when he brought up how their jobs meant they couldn’t stay together anymore. At first, she had just stared at him, completely stunned. He had felt like a monster as he watched her process the reality. Seeing her break made him break. He loved her so damn much, but he had been dreaming of this job since he first got into college. 

“I still love you, Emily. I wish it could be any other way.” It didn’t feel like much, but it was the only thing he could think of saying. 

“Don’t say that to me. You don’t get to say that to me anymore.” Suddenly, she pushed herself off of him. She dusted herself off and wiped tears away from her eyes but it was no use. They kept on falling. 

“I don’t understand–”

“No, you don’t,” she confirmed. He stared after her, mouth stuck open. “I would’ve been willing to make it work, you know. I would’ve come to visit you, you could’ve visited me. I thought what we had was worth that. But if you want a clean break, fine. I wish you the best of luck, counselor.” Emily gathered her things quickly. She didn’t dare to look back at the man she had loved so deeply for so long. 

“Emily, wait!” He called out after her, but he was met with the door slamming instead. 

He sat in the same position for what felt like hours. Numbness enveloped him. He wanted to rip up his offer letter. He wanted to chase after her. Instead, Rafael sat, as broken as he had just made her. 

* * *

“Counselor, how does your client plead?” The judge peered over at the defendant from his perch. His eyes were cold and fierce. Rafael paid little attention to the defense attorney, studying his case notes as he waited for the response. 

“Not guilty, your honor.”

That voice shook Rafael to his very core. It may have been ten years since he had heard it as she had stormed out, but he would have known it anywhere. Emily stood next to her client, a woman accused of killing her husband. Her once long brown hair had been cropped so it fell at her shoulders. She looked poised and polished in her navy blazer and skirt. She still hadn’t looked his way. 

“Very well. The People on bail?” The judge’s question broke Rafael’s trance, and he quickly tried to center himself. 

“Remand, your honor. The defendant has access to a hefty trust fund and has family estates throughout Europe. Given the charges she’s facing we believe her to be a flight risk.” He looked at Emily, his mind racing with memories of the two of them laughing and kissing. 

“That’s punitive. Mrs. Lassiter is the sole guardian of a four year old son and a caretaker for her aging mother. That’s a tie to the community if I’ve ever heard of one.” She stared seemingly right through Rafael. Her eyes narrowed at him before she turned back to the judge. 

“Agreed, bail is set at $100,000. The defendant shall relinquish her passport.” The gavel smashed down and Rafael actually winced. The lump in his throat was painful, and he desperately wanted to croak out some sort of apology to the woman standing before him after all this time. 

Emily whispered something to her client before letting her be led away with the bailiff. Turning to the table in front of her, she collected her notes. A strand of brown hair fell in front of her eyes. Emily huffed before tucking it behind her ear. Rafael used to love doing that for her. 

The arrogant confidence he had carefully constructed over years of posturing in court vanished in an instant. His legs felt like lead as he tried to walk over to her. 

“Rafael,” she greeted cooly. “I see you’re the ADA now. Congratulations.”

“When did you move to New York?” Rafael blinked rapidly, still trying to believe that she was really here. 

“About a year after we graduated. One of the partners at my old firm decided to move to New York to start her own defense practice.” She wouldn’t return his gaze. 

Rafael’s mouth hung open, stunned. “You–You’ve been here for nine years? All this time?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Why didn’t you call me, Emily?” He reached for her wrist in an attempt to turn her towards him. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she froze. Her hands stopped organizing papers. 

“Your career meant more to you than I ever would. That’s fine, it was your choice. I did the same thing.” Finally, she met his eyes. No tears threatened to spill over this time, but Rafael still thought he could see a deep sadness. “Would it have really made a difference if I had called you once I moved here?”

Her question left him off balance. _Would it have changed things?_ Rafael liked to think that distance had been the only thing that had stopped them in the first place. 

“It makes a difference now, Emily. Please, you don’t owe me a second chance, but I’m asking you for one. Would you like to get dinner with me?” Rafael’s voice cracked as he asked her to dinner. His heart pounded against his ribcage. 

“Okay.”

* * *

In the nearly fifteen years it had now been since she had first corrected him in class, Rafael was still pretty sure that not a single day had gone by without him thinking of her. Now, he sat propped up in bed, watching her chest rise and fall as she slept. She curled against him, seeking out his warmth. Rafael watched as his beautiful, strong, courageous, and incredible wife lay dreaming. 

He couldn’t sleep, but that was okay. It meant he got to witness her like this. Natural and so peaceful. 

Rafael hummed a lullaby that his mother used to sing to him quietly. Leaning down to place a kiss on Emily’s temple, he whispered “I love you,” over and over again. It was a prayer that had kept him sane all these years. Knowing she was out there somewhere had kept the job from making him cold. He had always prayed that she would come back to him. And here she was. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a random one shot that got carried away


End file.
